Just Us Teachers
Johnny: Mom, I don't want to go to school today!
Mom: Johnny, you have to go to school.
Johnny: But Mom, none of the kids like me!
Mom: Sweetie, you still havc to go to school.
Johnny: But Mom, none of the teachers like me!
Mom: I'm sorry son, you still have to go to school.
Johnny: But why?!?!
Mom: Because you're the principal!
Teacher Practical Jokes
Excerpted from "The Cluttered Desk", the FREE semi-monthly ezine of
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Reverse digits on students' grades. Wait 5 minutes and announce "Today is Backwards Day!"
Remove legs from chairs and desks. Comment to students about how much they have grown.
Stop lesson every 10 minutes and pretend to have a conversation with someone on the P.A.
Take kids outside for recess. Make them sit down and watch you play on the monkey bars.
Rearrange the room before school starts. Do it again during lunch. Do it again during P.E.
Grade papers at your desk. Laugh hysterically every 3rd paper. Moan sadly every 5th. On the 15th, you must either laugh sadly or groan hysterically.
When children ask if they can go to the bathroom, tell them "Yes, just don't leave the room.
Spend the first hour of the day speaking a foreign language. Pig-Latin counts.
Pretend to have forgotten all of their names, call them by names of characters from "Lord of the Rings".
Hide under the desk. Demand that students pay a toll when turning in work.
Read "The 3 Little Pigs." Cheer for the wolf.
When counting, always leave out the number 8.
Show up late for class. Bring a note from your mom.
Show up at student's house. Mess up their room.
Bring blanket and pillow to school. Take a nap while the students are reading.
Come to school in pajamas, lay across desk, pretend to be sleeping when students arrive. Snore.
Load bus for field trip. Drive to 7-11, buy yourself a Coke, return to school.
While students are out, sharpen all of their pencils down to nubs. Tell them the "Pencil Fairy" must have come.
Trade places with another teacher. Answer only to her name.
Flip lights on and off. Ask repeatedly why they are not working.
Teach entire lesson facing the wrong direction.
Go to bathroom. Return with shirt inside-out.
Superglue students' pencils to their desks.
Move clock forward 30 minutes. Line up to go home, express worry over why the dismissal bell is not ringing.
Call students during summer break. Tell them you are still waiting for their homework.
Every time a student gets out of his seat, yell "I'm telling the Principal!' and stomp out of the room.
With pen resting behind your ear, exclaim that someone has stolen your pen and demand to know who did it.
Hand out worksheets 3 levels higher than your grade. Tell them it is a review and counts as a major test grade.
Toilet paper your own room. Pretend not to notice it is there.
Move all desks and chairs to the hallway. Sit on the floor and start teaching.
Have different children stand up at random intervals throughout the day. Sing "Happy Birthday" to them. Change to the Barney Song every 5th student.
Hot glue lockers shut.
Sneak out to hallway. Switch everyone's lunches.
Eat lunch with your students. Complain about your lunch and ask to trade. Keep trading until you get your lunch back.
April 13, 2010
Pigs and cows now fly above,
My goldfish started walking.
There are snowballs in the desert,
And my students have stopped talking!